Your wildest dreams

06/06/2011 at 2:44 pm (Uncategorized)

What are your wildest dreams? What happens when reality surpasses what you even thought possible?

I have been to the ‘other’ Jersey, and returned with untold treasures. When something becomes the thing of myth, there is a possibility of disappointment. Now I have begun the 5th volume of the archives and the first volume of rituals.

I have to laugh, there was a point when I wondered if there would be enough content for the 10 volumes that Dolores had proposed. Now, having been into the files, I realize that these is enough content for an untold number of volumes. It is wonderful and overwhelming. (ask the people trying to get me to leave the house!) Cataloging, editing, scanning, I am a woman wonderfully obsessed.

Of course there has been the good with the bad, friends who are no longer friends, people working behind the scenes to get the archives for themselves, but here I still sit, none the worse for wear, thanking the gods for this great opportunity, and the great friends who have helped me and stood by me. I give thanks, to the seen and the unseen, the dark and the light, the balance and the chaos.

I have returned from this journey with more to say, so I will be blogging more often. You will be reading about the treasures as I unearth them, the wisdom as I uncover it.

Yes, I am getting a little misty, but those of you who know me well know that I can get misty when the Mets win 2 in a row!

More Later.


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Magic and Kodachrome

01/02/2011 at 11:46 am (Uncategorized)

The first time I saw a piece of photo paper being developed I was 14 years old. A white sheet of paper in a tray of clear liquid suddenly revealed an image. It was magic to me. Perhaps even the first time I used the work with some personal meaning.

I became obsessed with the process. Not that I realized it at the time, this was my first experience of the balance of the light and the dark and how important it is. You created the image in the light, but manifested it in the dark. Not enough light and no image appeared on the film. If the film was exposed to light when you were developing it, the images was destroyed.

I learned when I wanted the sun behind me and when I wanted it in front of me. I learned how the film felt, and how is sounded. The anticipation of waiting to see how the images came out and the elation or dispair, depending on the outcome.

Thursday I found out that Kodachrome is no longer being manufactured. A great tragedy? Compared to global unrest, ecological disasters and human suffering, probably not, but a loss all the same. (the bigger tragedy is that I can’t get the Paul Simon song out of my head!)

Kodachrome was introduced in 1935. The last Kodachrome machine was unplugged on Thursday, in Kansas of all places. Dorothy escaped the black and white landscape of Kansas with a quick trip to Oz, but where are we to go?

Those of you who were born into a world of digital cameras will not understand my sadness. I too have fallen victim to the immediacy of the digital world. I have grown to love my little point-and-shoot. Small enough to put in my pocket, but enough pixels to capture the moment. But there is more to photography than that, and there are subtle nuances that will never be captured by a computer chip.

Much has been lost. You could not delete a picture you didn’t like, once the film was exposed, there was no going back. However, on second or third inspection it was those “bad pictures” that ended up being our favorites. But there was something else. The interaction of silver and light made some unexpected results. I picked up things that the human eye could not perceive. I remember taking a picture of my grandmother and her two sisters. Aunt Netti was in the middle. My grandmother and her other sister were well lit, but Aunt Netti was shrouded in darkness. After looking at other peoples pictures I saw that this was the case in every picture. A few weeks later Aunt Netti passed away. Because Netti was giving off less light and heat, no amount of artificial light would change the photographic outcome.

Upon revealing my photographic obsession to my parents I discovered that my father used to do photography when he was younger, about 16. He proceeded to take out all his old negatives and cameras. I discovered a whole new dimension to my dad. I saw pictures of the family I had never seen before.He immediately went down to the basement and build me a darkroom. I don’t think I would have known him as well as I did, if we wouldn’t have done photography together. (you can see some of his work on my FB page.)

Now that he is gone those negatives and slides and his light meter and parts of him that travel with me where ever I go.

The world became, and still is, a composition waiting to happen

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The Origins of Power

03/15/2010 at 9:27 pm (Uncategorized)

There have been times, while giving a tarot reading, that someone has asked me where the information comes from. A few months ago I would have told you definitively that my psychism didn’t come directly from me. I was merely an antenna, able to pick up the signal, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. I would state this with some conviction.

I have know a magician or two that believes that if they are not doing the magic, that it doesn’t exist. I have to admit this amuses me. Yes, we can, through our will and intent work with the magical energies, but they exist whether we work with them or not.

Well, as we all know, or will come to learn, the essence of working with magic is that everything is always changing and as soon as you think you’ve got something figured out, you learn something that takes you back to square one! This is how we grow. The magic changes as the world changes. We have to learn (however frustrating) to change along with it. Like an astral snow boarder, staying flexible, trying to stay balanced, but occasionally wiping out and getting stuck in a drift!

So I was working on the second volume of the SOL archives (available at [shameless plug!!]) and I was working on the chapter on inner power. Here is a quote from that chapter It comes directly from the inner plane contact of the school.

Power does not lie in words, actions, spells, or rites, or even knowledge. Power lies within certain people and very few of them realise this; even fewer dare to use it. Those that do place themselves beyond what you would call good or evil.

There is no good, nor is there evil, there is only intent. When intent is linked to power, action is set in motion. The emotion that lies within the power holder then becomes the driving force of that action, transmuting it into what the human mind perceives as good or evil.

Well, that threw my original theory out the window! You see, I thought I knew something! I had a handle on where the power came from and how I utilized it. Well, not so much! So I began to think it through.

I suppose on some level I must have at lease suspected this. There has been the occasional time where, especially in moments of anger, I have caused something to happen accidently. (especially before I understood my capabilities) Still, it was much more comfortable for me to believe my skills lived outside of my physical body. Why? Perhaps because I have seen a lot of magical arrogance, people so wrapped up in how powerful they believe they are that they lose sight of the work itself. Listen, I’m not Mother Teresa, but power deserves respect. I don’t go swimming in the ocean without a lifeguard on the beach. Just because it’s beautiful doesn’t mean that the undertow can’t get the better of you.

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Esoteric Secrecy

03/10/2010 at 4:23 am (Uncategorized)

Since I have started publishing the archives of the SOL (Servants of the Light) I have run into a few people that are upset about the revealing of secrets. Most people are thrilled to have access to papers and articles that have, before this been forgotten in drawers and in attic boxes. I know I am thrilled every time an envelope comes in the mail, filled with these treasures.

But what is this about, this secrecy? I remember when I first started doing computer graphics. The old IBM guys loved their secrets. They believed there was some job security in keeping their knowledge to themselves. But as we have all seen over the years, getting fired is more about money than knowledge!

Jung says that secrecy, if made into a permanent habit, could be highly detrimental to the individual. Now more than ever, nothing seems to be secret or private. Between the social networking sites, YouTube and blogging, it seems that we want everyone to know everything about ourselves, no matter how trivial.

But how does this apply to The Mysteries?

We hear about secret societies, secret rituals, and hidden knowledge. It always been a point of confusion to me, that in the story of Adam and Eve, they were not supposed to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Why should knowledge be kept from us? And a better question is why would God dangle knowledge in front of them like a carrot and then punish them for being curious?

Ernest Butler says “There is a false secresy which has no part in any true esoteric work. This is to take teachings which, though possibly only to be found by industrious research, are still what is know as “public domain”. Such teachings are actually open to all, even though they may be difficult to get at. To make these teachings into a private preserve is morally wrong. Secrecy for the sake of secresy is not part of the Mystery teaching.”

Some of the things that are considered secrets are just advanced teachings. In order to access the knowledge, you have to have the experience. There are people who will read a passage and get nothing out of it. Another person will read the same passage and feel a world of information opening up to them. So the “secrets” are safe.

Then there are the people who want these treasures to stay secret so they are the only ones to have access to them. To these people, I would suggest they look for a way to move forward, instead of backwards. It is true, that we all stand on the shoulders of our ancestors, but that doesn’t mean that we repeat their words over and over again, rather than moving the work forward and coming up with our own conclusions.

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Finally, something to say!

01/22/2010 at 10:02 pm (Uncategorized)

Really not so sure about the blogging thing. A lot of it seems self indulgent and trite. Do I really care about the new shoes you bought or how you cleaned your closet? No! Doesn’t anyone keep private journals anymore?

But as I am a publisher and an occultist (not necessarily in that order!) I have been checking out other blogs and have found some interesting information and opinions, so I happily have altered my opinion somewhat.

What you will find here is my opinions and experiences as well as excerpts from upcoming books.

Anyway, here’s the event that has me blogging. I was watching The Chris Issacs show on the Biography Channel. He was interviewing Stevie Nicks. The interview is interesting, if not predictable. Relationship breakups, cocaine, you know the usual. She sang, I sang along. It was all going well… until he asked her if she was a witch. I was expecting a denial. Why not! Honestly I do not care whether she is a witch or not. But what came next was shocking. She said that she wasn’t a witch and that the idea that she was, was just stupid. Chris agreed! Now be a witch, don’t be a witch, I don’t care, but there is no reason to call someone else’s spirituality stupid! (especially when you are wearing a cresent moon around your neck!!)

She has made a lot of money perpetuating the witch facade. The songs, the clothes. It started with the song Rhiannon, and has moved on from there. Come on Stevie, believe what ever you want, but even if you think the Craft is stupid, have some respect for people that believe that it is not. Would I ever hear you say that being a Catholic is stupid? What about the Protestants? Are they stupid too?

There is so much fear and superstition around Wicca, the Craft, ritual magic, et al., it is no wonder there is so much ignorance about it that it is no wonder people are afraid. It does not help when a person that has used the image of being a witch to make her successful publicly bashes it.

We still have such a long way to go.

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